Dead or Alive
by TwistingKaleidoscope
Summary: Shawn looked up with a frown, "Gus, I think I killed Lassie."


**Author's Note: **I had started this a few years ago, but just found it again today. I decided that I liked the first part and changed up the ending a bit. If you would like me to continue, please do review and tell me so.

Also, this will, if I continue, contain Juliet/Shawn.

**Summary:** Shawn looked up with a frown, "Gus, I think I killed Lassie."

* * *

**Dead or Alive**

* * *

**December, 1994**

"_Shawn_!" Gus whispered, looking out the window, trying to locate his best friend. "What are you doing out here?!" He screams once he sees him.

Shawn sat on the roof of his family home, staring out into the sky. "Just watching the sunset, buddy; isn't it beautiful?"

"Are you _drunk_?" Gus whispered furiously. He leaned out the open window farther.

"Me? No... How could you ask such a thing, Gus?" He slurred slightly as he lifted a can of beer to his lips.

"The sun set two hours ago."

"Oh," he blinked. "Oops. Wait, if it's so late then why are you here?" He looked at his friend, not moving from his position on the roof. "I didn't think your parents let you stay up so late on a school night."

"It's Saturday," Gus deadpanned.

"Oops," he repeated, interrupting him.

"...and your dad called me." Gus told him. "He says you've been out here for hours."

"Eh, I lost track of time."

"He's worried about you."

Shawn laughed humorlessly. "I bet."

"He is. What are you doing up here anyway?" Gus asked, again leaning farther out the open window before looking down, gulping at the sloping roof and its height, and leaning back slightly.

"Just thinkin'," he murmured.

"Can't you think inside? You might fall!" His closest friend exclaimed with a voice full of worry.

"Oh, Gus, at least I have one person who cares about me."

Gus sighed. "You're talking crazy, Shawn. There are lots of people who care about you."

There was a challenge in his voice as he said, "Name them."

"Your dad," he began, but Shawn interrupted him.

"He just wants a prodigy."

Gus rolled his eyes, but continued. "Then there's your mom."

Shawn laughed emotionlessly again. "She left."

"That doesn't mean she doesn't love you."

"Doesn't mean she does," Shawn rubbed his finger along the side of his beer can, staring at it intensely.

Gus stopped himself from remarking about the childishness and senselessness of his argument, but he stopped himself because obviously his friend wasn't in the best of states. "There's me."

"Point and case," Shawn looked up, but there was no triumph in his expression, rather sadness.

Gus frowned, "Who said I was finished? There's Cara-"

"Don't," Shawn cut him off, furiously. "_Don't_."

"Oh," he muttered to himself, looking down with a frown. "What happened, Shawn? I thought the two of you were close."

"Were, Gus, were." He spoke so quietly that Gus wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear.

"Are you ready to come in now?" Gus asked a moment later.

Shawn shook his head back and forth, signalling no.

Gus sighed and shifted into a more comfortable position where he was half-sitting, half-leaning against the windowsill. "Okay, Shawn, let's just sit here for a while."

* * *

**Present Day **

Gus awoke to loud knocking on his door. He rolled over at first, burying his head in his pillow. He hoped that if he ignored the noise long enough that the person would eventually go away, but the banging just became louder. So, he reluctantly got up out of bed to go answer the door before whoever it was woke his neighbors. He shivered at his feet touched the cold hardwood floor despite the fact that it was the middle of July. Glancing briefly at his alarm clock to find that it was one o'clock, he slowly walked down the hall. The meaning of having to sleep to work in the morning was obviously lost to whoever was at the door.

The banging continued up until the point when he opened the door.

"Shawn!" Gus exclaimed, although he wasn't surprised to find his friend there. He rubbed his eyes sleepily, frowned, and leaned heavily on the door frame for support. "What are you doing here?" He yawned before coming to his senses and adding, "This better not be like the time when you accidentally watched some of that movie _Made_ _of_ _Honor_ and came here after having nightmares of Patrick Dempsey's-"

"_Don't!_" He exclaimed with wide eyes as if he was horrified before he quickly caught himself and regained his composure. "Gus, I just came here then because I had a craving for a pineapple smoothie and knew that you had gotten fresh pineapples from the market that day, not at all because I had nightmares about Patrick Dem-" Shawn shuddered at the thought before rephrasing, "about him."

Then, for the first time, Gus noticed the bags under Shawn's eyes and the sad look on his face that his best friend couldn't hide despite probably his best efforts.

"What happened?" Gus' tone was softer, though not enough to be considered 'soft'. He still wouldn't be surprised if his friend had just become upset and decided to show up in the middle of the night because he had caught the series finale of _Golden_ _Girls_ or if Shawn's favorite soap character was killed off.

Gus didn't know what he was truly expecting: Shawn to tell him what was wrong or Shawn to just blow him off with some stupid joke or reference, but he certainly was not expecting his childhood friend to walk past him into his apartment. He didn't expect to watch his friend collapse on his couch with a worn expression, and he definitely didn't expect to see Shawn's eyes glycine.

"Shawn? Is everything all right?" Gus stared at his friend's broken demeanor.

"No. No, everything is not all right, Gus." Shawn admitted, putting his head in his hands.

"What is it? Is it because of Juliet? Because you know that it's only inevitable for-"

Shawn held up a hand to stop his friend before he spoke again and stood up. "I don't want to talk about that, Gus." His voice sounded mature, and though Shawn usually shied away from such subjects with obscure comments, no stupid jokes were cracked.

He looked up with a frown, "Gus, I think I killed Lassie."

Thinking this was one of his antic, Gus burst out laughing. "Shawn," he pointed at him while gasping for air between laughs. "You really had me going for a minute." He sat down beside his friend, slapping him on the back. "I actually-" he laughed harder. "I actually believed that something horrible had happened there for a moment."

Gus let out a sharp exhale before standing back up. "Okay, Shawn, some of us actually have real jobs that we have to go to tomorrow, so I'm going back to bed." He started off down the hallway back to his bedroom before turning around and finally noticing that his friend still had a sober look on his face.

"Shawn?" Gus turned around and asked.

His friend looked up at him.

"You were kidding, right?" There was laughter in his voice.

"No, Gus," Shawn shook his head. "Lassie is dead."


End file.
